white rabbit

The week that I found out how to be kind when you’re in bed feeling sorry for yourself.

Tuesday Sept 13^th

I have the lurgy, and am cross because, despite decades of living like a cross between Henry VIII and George Best, I never get ill.

Strangley, I had been wondering how I would do the kindness activities if I was ill in me bed, just the day before. So I must have felt it coming. Plus was worried as had a big gig coming up, compering for a Breast Cancer Charity Burlesque event, and knew I a. couldn’t be ill b. couldn’t imagine compering in this state of disrepair.

So from the sick bed, I wrote an anonymous (great) review for someone’s book. This has to stay anonymous of course, otherwise she might find out and it might be a terrible disappointment that it’s just me. This book really deserved a great review. Was quite pleased that I had achieved something from the sick bed that didn’t cost anything.

 

Wednesday Sept 14

Donated to “help the forest” for next year’s Edinburgh Festival. Still in bed with lurgy! Really enjoyed the forest and the free fringe this year, feels like that what the Edinburgh Festival should be, not some big corporate money making (except for artists) comedy producers festival. Felt good.

Still in bed. Think I ate a dodgy vegetarian meatball (is there any other kind? I hear you cry!)

 

Here’s stuff about the Forest:

The Forest is a volunteer-run, collectively-owned, free arts and events space masquerading as a vegetarian café. We provide a dedicated space for people to get involved in any creative activity imaginable.

 

Thursday Sept 15

Recovered enough to get down to Whitton for the fundraiser.

Beyond nervous, feel like I am at the biggest hen night in the history of the world (not a bad thing) totally sober (bad thing)

Think it went well. Gave away a LOT of fairycakes iced to look like breasts. Under the glare of the follow spot by the end of the evening they looked more like iced testicles. Snogged this poor man half to death under the glare of a follow spot, in the name of “comedy”. Lots of fairly dubious #366daysofkindness last night. Donate ½ my fee to cancer research.

Come home broken.

 

Friday Sept 16th

Left an envelope with a fiver in on a bar in London Bridge with a letter- “have a drink on me.” Hope it’s not found by a recovering alcoholic. That’s not kind.

 

Sat Sept 17th

Signed this. Got other people to sign it.

Reduce Income Inequality for a Fairer, Safer and Happier Society – e-petitions

epetitions.direct.gov.uk

We the undersigned wish to highlight the findings of the Equality Trust that societies with smaller income differences between rich and poor have fewer health and social problems, such as teenage births, violence, social disorder, mental illness and drug abuse; further further note that such societi…

 

Sunday Sept 18^th

http://bit.ly/minersfund today #366daysofkindness

 

Monday 19^th

September always makes me think of Charles Dickens, my hero. So I left “Christmas Carol” on the train #dickensofkindness. It had a bit of coffee spilt on it, but still…

 

Tuesday 20^th September

Dice of kindness (see pics)

Gave this to my friend Ed Currie to give to his girlfriend, who I haven’t met so this does count.I hope she does it!

Getting into the swing of it now. Lessons learnt: Don’t plan the next day’s kindness. If an opportunity comes your way, take it. One person’s kindness is another person’s annoyance.

Onward!

 

Third week of kindness during which I made people cry, realised it’s very difficult for me to be kind to certain kinds of people, and I made LOADS of cakes.

Hello friends. If you just want to know what I did every day, you can just read the big bold type. The rest is my musings, plus some pics.

Tuesday September 6^th

Market Coffee House in Spitalfields- left a “make a wish” note.Out for the night with Chris Entwisle.

I saw a waiter pick it up and he caught my eye.

ME “that’s for you”.

HIM: “erm…thanks”

It was inviting him to make a wish and that it might come true and that to think of me as his Fairygodmother. I would love such a message- but would he?

Then was embarrassed in case he thought it was a proposition. THEN remembered I go in there a lot,so will prob see him again,and that all the flyers for my show are in the  leaflet rack so it’s not too anonymous/godmother-like.

Still, it is nice in there, and I did leave him a tip too.

Wednesday September 7^th

^{Gave some flowers to the sad lady in Boots, and helped another lady up some stairs which made her cry,and spoke to a sad man at a busstop}

^{I went to the shopping centre} in Surrey Quays to buy eyeliner, I was still deciding what to do for #366 today. Got to the counter

ME: Thanks.(as she handed me aforementioned eyeliner) How are you?

SAD LADY IN BOOTS: Well, I’ve had better weeks

ME: O no, really?

SAD LADY IN BOOTS: Yes well I have had better. I say to myself there’s always someone worse off than you, that helps me to get out of bed in the morning, but it’s been better.

ME: O no. I’m sorry to hear that.

So I dashed out and scanned around for something to cheer her up. I carry around a few cards, envelopes and sweets in my bag for emergency kindness-situations, so I quickly wrote a card saying “for a better week” and I bought her a plant from the stall. Then I ran inside and gave it to her and really quickly garbled out what I was doing.

ME: Hellothisisforyousorryyouarehavingasadweekiamtryingtodosomethingniceeverydayforpeopleidontknowiambernadette.

PAUSE (whilst she digested the speedy communication)

SAD LADY IN BOOTS: That’s so nice. You are very nice. Give me a hug.

ME: O, thanks.

It was nice to get a hug and she was very sweet, and it was a great pay back, but she looked as though she was about to cry. Then I thought, would it have been nicer if I hadn’t said anything (which had been my intention but it all blurged out) and it was a nice thing to do but … it did make her cry a bit. I am going to see if I can see her again next week, when I go back for some eyeliner, as, needless to say, I have already lost that one.

Today was hard, as I had found out my friend had died. Kept crying.I felt sad and wide awake all at the same time.

I walked to the Yellow Earth to meet Gareth later and I saw a lady with a stick struggling up some stairs

ME: Are you ok? Can I help you?

STRUGGLING LADY: No but it’s very kind. These stairs are very hard

ME: I should coco, it looks like a bloody hill up there!

STRUGGLING LADY: Well, I am nearly there now, but I have had an operation and I have steel pins in my spine and they slipped see so I had to have them adjusted… and.. it’s just hard (she cries a bit) but it’s very kind of you

ME: Not at all- are you sure…?

STRUGGLING LADY: I’m fine

So I leave but I try to remember her number it’s 166 I think so maybe I can leave something for her another day. Then I go and drink wine with Gareth in Yellow Earth and I think about my friend.

On the way home I see a man at a busstop with his head in his hands and I say:

ME: Are you ok?

SAD MAN: Mmmm

ME: Are you sure?

SAD MAN: It’s ok.they… it’s… some people aren’t meant for love

ME: O. But you are. You’ll be OK.

The man is drunk I think but his bus comes and he gets on ok. I go home for tea.It’s been a funny old day

Thursday September 8^th

Technician Gordon form the Brye Theatre in St Andrews- met him today and found out he is getting married in Barbados tomorrow- so got his fiancé who I have never met a grow your own yacht kit and a good luck on your wedding card

 

We had a show in St Andrews. I found this toy yacht and it seemed like a fun idea.

Friday September 9^th

I gave our taxi driver a massive bag of sweets for his kids.

^{Today was extremely trying and} got me thinking about people I would personally find it challenging to be kind to.

We were on the 9.10am train from St Andrews to London with a hen  and stag party (A sten party? a hag party?) and they were noisy but jolly. Two of the fellas were dressed as smurfs and they had holes cut out in the “gentlemen’s toilet” area. They were doing impressions of smurfs with very strong Glaswegian accents. All this was fine. Then at Newcastle on got this braying posh nob who spoke for almost two hours about foxhunting and efficient ways of culling badgers. I tried to concentrate on the story I was finishing for our gig on Saturday.More refereneces to murder found their way into the story as i was writing it and enduring him. I found out on the journey whilst listening to his horrible grating voice that I hadn’t got a job I wanted. Then an extremely drunk, elderly lady in overpowering scent  spilt cheap wine all over my trousers.

I didn’t feel kind.

Still,I gave our taxi driver a massive bag of sweets for his kids.

ME: (shouting a bit over the traffic) HAVE YOU GOT KIDS?

TAXI DRIVER: Yes

ME: (couldn’t hear)I SAID HAVE YOU GOT KIDS?

TAXI DRIVER: Yes

ME: (still couldn’t hear)I SAID HAVE YOU GOT ANY KIDS?

TAXI DRIVER: (Bellowing now, and a bit afraid) YES ! YES I HAVE I HAVE!

ME: O, sorry. Here you go….

This is what I thought about on my epic journey:

People I would find it hard to be kind to:

Foxhunters

Tories (prejudiced I know, but…)

People who discuss Stanley knives and badgers necks in the same sentence on public transport

Kate Copstick (she was EVIL to me and my friend)

Then I thought, maybe I should set myself the challenge of being kind to one of these. It is after all easy to be kind to the kind.

People more likely in my experience to be  recipients of kindness:

Those who smile

Those who look sad but somehow approachable

Those who ask nicely

People more likely in my experience not to be recipients of kindness

Those who scowl

Those who bare their teeth, for no apparent reason, in public

People who discuss killing animals, loudly, on public transport (maybe, just maybe a jolly butcher could get away with this…)

I resolve to refrain from any of the last three activities.

Saturday September 10^{th- mass cakes of kindness during/after/before our show at the Thames Festival}

^{Made 86 cakes in the end, gave them away during show and afterwards, gave away 30 packets of crisps and my own bottle of rum, gave any passing child I could see a handful of sweets.Gave a man a kiss as he asked nicely. Enjoyed the mass-kindness very much.}

^{Sunday September} 11^{th- cakes} of kindness to my neighbour

ME: Would you like a cake?

MY NEIGHBOUR: O thankyou

ME: Can I get the plate back?

MY NEIGHBOUR: You make these every day?

ME: Well, not every day

MY NEIGHBOUR: O. Not every day

ME: No, but I try to be kind every day

MY NEIGHBOUR: EVERY DAY? EVERY DAY? EVERY DAY?

Me: Yes

MY NEIGHBOUR: O.o.o. O my.

ME: Bye (left without plate)

Monday September 12^th

Letter and £1 left on northern line tube

I saw a girl pick it up and examine it. The tube sailed off from London Bridge as I watched her.

This is good. It has changed my life (for the better)

Coming up: more #cakesofkindness including a mass #cakesofkindness in east, west,north and south London. Also – planning a masskindness in Greenwich soon.

 

 

 

 

This couple of weeks has been proper learning curve with #366daysofkindness, including an hour in the morning of 31^st August when I thought I am going to stop doing this, it’s mental, after several friends said “A Year? For a whole year?” I thought  no one will notice, then encouraging messages from friends and strangers and a wee mention in Time Out got me back on track.Also good point made my friend Kate Bohdanovich “it’s not exactly kind if you’re making a show about it is it?” this is a good point. I promise the show itself will be exceptionally kind, however that will manifest itself.   So here it is like a diary from the olden days. I will do a blog from now on every week so as not to bore you with a really long list.

 

August 23^{rd- Gave a stranger an “unbirthday present”}

I gave a man the unbirthday present. It was beautifully wrapped and contained chocolate, handcream, sweets and a mini sparkler. This was the first really nerve racking one, and the first day I realized that it takes a lot of balls to approach someone in this way and they might actually think you are mad. Especially if you are dressed as I was almost head to toe in silver (it was that kind of day)he looked a bit scared. He said thankyou. I wondered whether this was kind or not. I hope he liked it. I put my name on the label and #366daysofkindness and thought about whether or not it was better if it was anonymous- maybe it’s more magical and surprising if it’s totally random and not part of a “project”? on the other hand maybe it’s less scary if it is obviously part of a plan? Mmmm…

August 24^{th Gave Ryan from Tescos in Surrey Quays a Plant}

I had already decided to give someone a flower today, and went into Tescos on the way home to buy some. When I got to the counter the man on the till was so jolly and nice to the lady in front of me I decided he deserved a flower if anyone did. I explained what I was doing as it seemed appropriate in the circumstances and he liked the plant and he asked my name- later found me on facebook and posted this

“I have just been the lucky receiver of a ‘Random act of kindness’! I was given a beautiful flowering plant, totally out of the blue by a fellow Londoner, happily spreading joy on her way home from work. It has made me feel so wonderful and so special and once again has opened my heart and eyes to how wonderful life is. Thank you Bernadette, sending love to you this evening and love to everyone else out there ”

Now that was a great pay back. Made my day.

 

August 25^{th  Gave a stranger a book-}

is this kindness or reverse mugging?

today’s – very hard -got nervous. Wrote note inside a book, explaining what I was doing and my name. on the bus I decided to give it to the girl sitting opposite but she looked shy, and the man opposite me looked grumpy. Starting thinking about how some people probably get nice stuff happen to them less often as they look discouraging. Wondered whether I should find the grumpiest person on the bus and give it to them. Thought back to the first day of this when I offered a stranger my seat and she threatned to beat me then everyone else up. Got bus fear. Got off bus.started looking around for a likely target and then thought “I’m thinking “target” like a serial killer” and that made me nervous. in the end -ran up to woman and said “please take this, I’m not mad, honestly, thanks” and I went to put it in her handbag and she (understandably) offered me her tescos carrier bag instead, with a weak smile. Then I ran off. Wasn’t quite the high of yesterday.thought about doing a few more anonymous ones to take the pressure off myself. And the recipients, in case I actually scare someone or get into a fight.

 

August 26^th left “note of kindness” on table at NFT

So, begininig of anonymous “notes of kindness”.gonna see how it goes if I leave lovely/funny/encouraging notes for people. If it so happens I speak to them that’d be good but not essential. This is a relief. Also I hope a bit more magical. Left letter outside NFT addressed “to you , yes you” . As i left no-one had picked it up…no one had even sat at the table even though the tables around were crowded. Hopefully a waiter will pick it up, they looked run off their feet.

 

August 27^{th  gave stranger  a “cake of kindness”}

^{did a bit of a cheat today, I had loads of cupcakes left over from yesterays show, and was going to meet ladies who booked me for compeering a burlesque gig in Twinkenham, so they weren’t exactly strangers but I hadn’t met them until the day. Cakes went down well.  Am hatching plans for a mass Cakes Of Kindness event. That’ll scupper the government’s anti-obesity drive.}

 

August 28^{th gave a stranger a picture of les dawson and “note of kindness”. It went wrong}

^{I woke up with a glint in my eye, and decided today was gonna be a cheeky one. So I wrote a letter which said if you’re enjoying bank holiday I dare you to call in sick tomorrow love from your fairy godmother with a picture of les dawson dressed as said fairy godmother on the back. I know this is a bit rubbish, but it made me laugh. this was the second big lesson of this couple of weeks- I approached this guy on the concourse at London Bridge and the conversation went something like this:}

^{ME: hello, I wanted to give you this}

^{HIM: I don’t want it}

^{ME: honestly it’s nice}

^{HIM:I don’t want it}

^{ME:it’s a good thing I promise you}

^{HIM:I don’t want it}

^{ME: take it take it ! (runs away)}

^{This made me laugh but I had to admit as an #366daysofkindness it didn’t really count, so} I left a £1 on the tube seat for someone to pick up.

 

August 29^{th left a “note of kindness” on church noticeboard}

^{So by now I have decided it might be a good idea to mostly do anonymous #366daysofkindness, just for the time being.  Left a letter on the church notice board saying read me.Hope that God doesn’t get the credit. He’s always getting credit for stuff, athletic achievement, survival against the odds, the wonders of nature etc.}

August 30^{th. gave “note of kindness” to Midwife in Lewisham}

^{The note on the church noticeboard is still there, I see. Bummer.}

^{Visiting friend in hospital gave the  midwife at Lewisham hospital a “note of kindness” she seemed to like it. I was going} to stick it on the hospital noticeboard but as noticeboards haven’t gone so well and as I would have to have squeezed it between posters for bladder problems and diabetes it didn’t seem right.

August 31^{st gave “note of kindness” via Sophie Donnelly in East London}

^{in an attempt to spread #366days away from SE London I asked my friend sophie Donnelly. to take a note of kindness home with her. Today was the day that my venture featured in the time out blog and that cheered me up.} See here:

http://now-here-this.timeout.com/2011/08/29/london-blogger-shares-the-love-with-‘acts-of-random-kindness’-project/?fb_comment_id=fbc_5006741027841_734690_5006765184841

September 1^{st left note of kindness and £1 in phone box in SE London}

September 2^{nd gave homeless man 50p then thought better of it and  gave him £5. Central London.}

Travelled up to Highlands for Billy Hiscock and Hanna Wolf’s wedding.

September 3^{rd  Gave lady who worked in café in Crear a note of kindness.}

^{she came out afterwards} and hugged me and said you must’ve known I needed that.

September 4^{th  left note of kindness and flowers from Scotland on table in the amazing Café Soy in Birmingham}

^{saw a waitress pick it up and caught her eye.}

September 5^th left choclate on a doorstep rang the bell and ran away SE London

 

That’s all folks. For now. As I said, will do weekly blogs from now on. I can’t expect anyone to read all this stuff, can I?

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