366 Days of Kindness- Chapter 3 September 2011

September 12th, 2011 by Bernadette

Third week of kindness during which I made people cry, realised it’s very difficult for me to be kind to certain kinds of people, and I made LOADS of cakes.

Hello friends. If you just want to know what I did every day, you can just read the big bold type. The rest is my musings, plus some pics.

Tuesday September 6th

Market Coffee House in Spitalfields- left a “make a wish” note.Out for the night with Chris Entwisle.

I saw a waiter pick it up and he caught my eye.

ME “that’s for you”.

HIM: “erm…thanks”

It was inviting him to make a wish and that it might come true and that to think of me as his Fairygodmother. I would love such a message- but would he?

Then was embarrassed in case he thought it was a proposition. THEN remembered I go in there a lot,so will prob see him again,and that all the flyers for my show are in the  leaflet rack so it’s not too anonymous/godmother-like.

Still, it is nice in there, and I did leave him a tip too.

Wednesday September 7th

Gave some flowers to the sad lady in Boots, and helped another lady up some stairs which made her cry,and spoke to a sad man at a busstop

I went to the shopping centre in Surrey Quays to buy eyeliner, I was still deciding what to do for #366 today. Got to the counter

ME: Thanks.(as she handed me aforementioned eyeliner) How are you?

SAD LADY IN BOOTS: Well, I’ve had better weeks

ME: O no, really?

SAD LADY IN BOOTS: Yes well I have had better. I say to myself there’s always someone worse off than you, that helps me to get out of bed in the morning, but it’s been better.

ME: O no. I’m sorry to hear that.

So I dashed out and scanned around for something to cheer her up. I carry around a few cards, envelopes and sweets in my bag for emergency kindness-situations, so I quickly wrote a card saying “for a better week” and I bought her a plant from the stall. Then I ran inside and gave it to her and really quickly garbled out what I was doing.

ME: Hellothisisforyousorryyouarehavingasadweekiamtryingtodosomethingniceeverydayforpeopleidontknowiambernadette.

PAUSE (whilst she digested the speedy communication)

SAD LADY IN BOOTS: That’s so nice. You are very nice. Give me a hug.

ME: O, thanks.

It was nice to get a hug and she was very sweet, and it was a great pay back, but she looked as though she was about to cry. Then I thought, would it have been nicer if I hadn’t said anything (which had been my intention but it all blurged out) and it was a nice thing to do but … it did make her cry a bit. I am going to see if I can see her again next week, when I go back for some eyeliner, as, needless to say, I have already lost that one.

Today was hard, as I had found out my friend had died. Kept crying.I felt sad and wide awake all at the same time.

I walked to the Yellow Earth to meet Gareth later and I saw a lady with a stick struggling up some stairs

ME: Are you ok? Can I help you?

STRUGGLING LADY: No but it’s very kind. These stairs are very hard

ME: I should coco, it looks like a bloody hill up there!

STRUGGLING LADY: Well, I am nearly there now, but I have had an operation and I have steel pins in my spine and they slipped see so I had to have them adjusted… and.. it’s just hard (she cries a bit) but it’s very kind of you

ME: Not at all- are you sure…?


So I leave but I try to remember her number it’s 166 I think so maybe I can leave something for her another day. Then I go and drink wine with Gareth in Yellow Earth and I think about my friend.

On the way home I see a man at a busstop with his head in his hands and I say:

ME: Are you ok?


ME: Are you sure?

SAD MAN: It’s ok.they… it’s… some people aren’t meant for love

ME: O. But you are. You’ll be OK.

The man is drunk I think but his bus comes and he gets on ok. I go home for tea.It’s been a funny old day

Thursday September 8th

Technician Gordon form the Brye Theatre in St Andrews- met him today and found out he is getting married in Barbados tomorrow- so got his fiancé who I have never met a grow your own yacht kit and a good luck on your wedding card


We had a show in St Andrews. I found this toy yacht and it seemed like a fun idea.

Friday September 9th

I gave our taxi driver a massive bag of sweets for his kids.

Today was extremely trying and got me thinking about people I would personally find it challenging to be kind to.

We were on the 9.10am train from St Andrews to London with a hen  and stag party (A sten party? a hag party?) and they were noisy but jolly. Two of the fellas were dressed as smurfs and they had holes cut out in the “gentlemen’s toilet” area. They were doing impressions of smurfs with very strong Glaswegian accents. All this was fine. Then at Newcastle on got this braying posh nob who spoke for almost two hours about foxhunting and efficient ways of culling badgers. I tried to concentrate on the story I was finishing for our gig on Saturday.More refereneces to murder found their way into the story as i was writing it and enduring him. I found out on the journey whilst listening to his horrible grating voice that I hadn’t got a job I wanted. Then an extremely drunk, elderly lady in overpowering scent  spilt cheap wine all over my trousers.

I didn’t feel kind.

Still,I gave our taxi driver a massive bag of sweets for his kids.

ME: (shouting a bit over the traffic) HAVE YOU GOT KIDS?


ME: (couldn’t hear)I SAID HAVE YOU GOT KIDS?


ME: (still couldn’t hear)I SAID HAVE YOU GOT ANY KIDS?

TAXI DRIVER: (Bellowing now, and a bit afraid) YES ! YES I HAVE I HAVE!

ME: O, sorry. Here you go….

This is what I thought about on my epic journey:

People I would find it hard to be kind to:


Tories (prejudiced I know, but…)

People who discuss Stanley knives and badgers necks in the same sentence on public transport

Kate Copstick (she was EVIL to me and my friend)

Then I thought, maybe I should set myself the challenge of being kind to one of these. It is after all easy to be kind to the kind.

People more likely in my experience to be  recipients of kindness:

Those who smile

Those who look sad but somehow approachable

Those who ask nicely

People more likely in my experience not to be recipients of kindness

Those who scowl

Those who bare their teeth, for no apparent reason, in public

People who discuss killing animals, loudly, on public transport (maybe, just maybe a jolly butcher could get away with this…)

I resolve to refrain from any of the last three activities.

Saturday September 10th- mass cakes of kindness during/after/before our show at the Thames Festival

Made 86 cakes in the end, gave them away during show and afterwards, gave away 30 packets of crisps and my own bottle of rum, gave any passing child I could see a handful of sweets.Gave a man a kiss as he asked nicely. Enjoyed the mass-kindness very much.

Sunday September 11th- cakes of kindness to my neighbour

ME: Would you like a cake?

MY NEIGHBOUR: O thankyou

ME: Can I get the plate back?

MY NEIGHBOUR: You make these every day?

ME: Well, not every day

MY NEIGHBOUR: O. Not every day

ME: No, but I try to be kind every day


Me: Yes

MY NEIGHBOUR: O.o.o. O my.

ME: Bye (left without plate)

Monday September 12th

Letter and £1 left on northern line tube

I saw a girl pick it up and examine it. The tube sailed off from London Bridge as I watched her.

This is good. It has changed my life (for the better)

Coming up: more #cakesofkindness including a mass #cakesofkindness in east, west,north and south London. Also – planning a masskindness in Greenwich soon.





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